Author Archives: engineerwhojournals

 Yesterday, I attended a wedding for my
workmates which was a very colorful event. 

Present at the event was our Managing
Director whom I had a privilege of sitting next to during the church service.
As we waited for the bride and groom to arrive, he told me about how he looked
forward to attending weddings;

“I look forward to the marriage blessing
because each time I am  reminded on what
I need to do maintain a happy marriage”.

I thought that’s a great way to look at
it. For me, it is mostly the food and entertainment.

I then asked him what his secret was to
the 26 years of marriage. Amongst the many pearls of wisdom, the one thing
which stood out was doing things for your partner without expecting anything in
return. “Do something special for your wife without expecting anything in
return. Take the initiative and do not wait for special occasions or under
certain conditions”.

With this ammunition in mind, I set out
to pay more than the usual attention during the marriage talk and the following
are the key highlights wonderfully delivered by the Pastor:

Marriage blessing talk

Revelation 2:4: Yet I hold this against
you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.

How do you lose the love you had at
first? It is a gradual process which happens over time.

How can we maintain the love? Apply the
following attitudes to your marriage:

Attitudes of a happy marriage

1. Need to be innovative: How often do
you surprise your partner? Do you bring up new things in your marriage? Do not
be predictable

2. Be exciting not boring: How often do
you joke or share light moments? How often do you go out except for special
events like anniversary and birthdays?

3. Be Positive: Don’t focus on the
negatives from your partner. Dwell on the positives

4. Be encouraging: How often do you
encourage your spouse? If you partner doesn’t receive encouragement from you
then who will give it to them? 

5. Be passionate about each other: Some
women can cook a special meal for their pastor but not their husband. Do things
for your partner with same mindset that you would when you do something for
someone who is special to you.

6. Be attractive: What are you doing to
be attractive to your mate? Or do you say since you are married there is no
need for (Namufika!). 

7. Be at your best for each other: Are
you making it easy for both of you to live with each other?

Marriage is between two people and it’s
up to them to make it work by having the right attitudes in their relationship.

Do you have a right attitude in your
marriage?

 At the Inauguration ceremony on Tuesday 24th August 2021, the key moment
which effectively confirmed HH as the 7^th President was when he received
a briefcase containing the instruments of power. The moment of handing over the
briefcase (medal) took no longer than 5 seconds and made him the commander in
chief of armed forces.

 

I remember thinking, “just like that; the most powerful
person in the land”.

 

However, it wasn’t just like that in a literal sense. It has
taken almost 20 years since the time he assumed the UPND presidency. And the road
was not one without challenges and setbacks. What a fitting moment it is then.

 

What do we think when we see someone receiving a prize on
a podium? When we see a pro athlete receiving a medal at the Olympics, a musician’s
album on top of the charts, a student receiving his honors degree at a
graduation ceremony or an entrepreneur who suddenly creates an “overnight”
business success? – “Just like that his made it big, how lucky, talented or anointed?”

What we see when someone is standing on top of a podium
of whatever field or industry is only but a tip of the iceberg. However, in
most cases we only get to see the outcomes and not the years of dedication,
hard work and countless setbacks and which goes on behind the scenes when no
one is watching.

What is your inauguration event which you can look
forward to? What practices are you undertaking daily to be able to reach your
mark?

Whatever you are doing on a consistent basis is either
leading you to or away from your crowning moment.

 If someone wants to be a writer or
runner, they don’t cross their fingers and hope for a flash of inspiration to strike them least we call them naive.

What is important is to start from where you are. If you want to be a runner, you start by
going to run every day. The 1^st day after you run, you don’t call
yourself a runner. However, if you go back the following days and do so for the next 30 days,
you can now call yourself one. In order to reach the levels of world class athlete, this may require years of
dedicated practice but at least you can comfortably say you on your way to becoming one.

What is it that you really want to become
in life? Start with the smallest action which you can take right now to move you in the
direction you want to go. Do you want to be a writer, then start by writing one page about a
particular topic you are interested in. You can then write a page everyday for the next 30 days and this process will see you improve your writing.

In the beginning, you do not worry so much if the running or writing is all that good, just focus on disciplining yourself to put your body where your heart wants to be. Want to be a runner, take your body to the running field and run. A writer, sit down in front of your typewriter or laptop and write. Being where you supposed to be is the 1st step towards the journey to becoming who you want to be.

Therefore, to create yourself, you MUST DO!

 

This is a question which I posed to myself sometime back in my journal. I left a small blank space on the page in which I had to fill in my answer within 2 sentences. It had to be precise. A good number of activities make me happy, but the question was not talking about happy but happiest, taunting me for an answer much deeper than what lies on the surface.

Today, I had an experience which got me thinking and connected the dots to the answer I was searching for. And it came from the most unlikely of experiences.

We are having a photo shoot session at my workplace as part of the company’s anniversary celebrations. Each branch of the business is tasked with taking a group photo of staff in uniform (smart white company shirt with tie) which is to be shared with the rest of the company prior to the commencement of the events.

A group picture is taken for the branch staff outside the office premises. Upon completion a suggestion is made from amongst us to take some more photos were we loosen up as we looked too serious in the previous ones taken. We wave and smile and with each photo taken and then we keep pushing each other to make increasingly ridiculous poses. One pose leads to the next and before we know it, we are doing knee tag jumps, press-ups, running in circles, etc.

A photo shoot suddenly turns into a boot camp.

As this is happening, a part of me kept saying to myself “this is childish, am an adult and adults don’t do such things”. But while this inner war was going on, outside state was filled with uncontrollable laugher from myself and colleagues. I haven’t seen my colleagues laugh that hard and simply embrace a moment like what I saw today in a very long time. We completely lost ourselves in that moment.

This experience has answered the question I asked myself some time back, “when am I the happiest?”

It is the time when I really let go, it is the time when I release my inner child, the part of me that doesn’t judge an activity like an adult does, it  is when am in the present moment and simply embrace it for how I feel and not what other people will say or do.

On reflection, most of the times I have deeply felt happy, there is an almost childlike connection to the event, person or activity.

I recently had an outing with my wife where we came across a rope tree swing at the location. Without any warning, we started playing with the swing by pushing each other and found ourselves acting like little kids on a playground as we did.

My wife was 1^st on the swing and as I continued pushing her, she couldn’t believe we were behaving like kids as we both laughed our lungs out while doing this.

It was my turn on the swing and after a few “pendulum movements” I said to my wife “love, this feels so good, is this how kids feel?” as I laughed my heart out while holding on to my dear rope.

What activity, experiences, people bring out the part of you which lives deep inside (inner boy or girl). Is it travelling to new places and experiencing the culture of that place, playing a musical instrument, or perhaps dancing at a party like no one is watching? Or could it be playing a game with your spouse or partner?

Happiness is being a kid. Letting go of oneself in the moment and being carefree.

Why don’t we do it more often? Is it because we are afraid, we would look stupid or childish?

Rediscover your inner child and you on your way to experiencing true inner happiness.

My country is currently preoccupied with the announcement of election results following the voting and subsequent counting of ballots. The opposition party is headed for victory as the incumbent is holding on to power though the writing is clearly on the wall as the people have spoken through the ballot.

I couldn’t help but think of the 1^st thing which the opposition leader should do once he assumes office. I also kept looking back at how the incumbent and his party after 10 years (2 terms) in government can’t really point to much in terms of the concrete things they have done since ascending to power.

It is very clear that a political party needs to have a well-defined goals and plan on how it will improve the standard of living of its citizens for that 5 year tenure of office through its manifesto. Once presented with the opportunity to lead, the party needs to follow through on its promises and deliver development to its citizenry. By so doing, they will put themselves in a better position to be re-elected once the next elections are held after 5 years.

They will be able to point to the things they had delivered to the people based on the promises in their manifesto 5 years before.

Rather than thinking about what a certain political party didn’t do which another one should do, I thought to myself  what I can bring home and learn from this event with regards to my own life. The principles which apply at national level (macro) also apply at an individual level (micro). 

As we look at what the political parties should do for us, we also need to ask ourselves that which we can do for ourselves which will make a difference on the micro level (individual). We need to ask ourselves questions such as what is my 5-year plan? What do I hope to accomplish or undertake between now and the next “election” cycle? What is my vision, mission statement as well as short- and long-term goals?

As we make these plans, it is helpful to have someone hold us accountable in much the same way that the electorates hold the politicians accountable on the promises made to them during campaigns. Accountability is important because it will drive us to take actions which are in harmony to what we had promised.

Develop a feedback system by getting yourself a mentor, trusted friend, or partner (marriage, business, etc) with whom you commit your goals to. More importantly it requires holding yourself accountable to the goals which you have set and doing the best to implement them on a consistent basis knowing that at the end of your mandate, you will have to answer to your higher self on how you performed during that period.

Ultimately, what will have the greatest impact on your life is not the individual or party that you elect to government. The party can create a viable environment for you to work in and the onus is on each person to do their part. As former United States president John F Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country”.

What will make the greatest contribution to your life is your individual manifesto (vision and goals) and whether you take the necessary actions which subsequently leads you to victory from one tenure of your life to the next.

Yesterday, I found myself looking at
google memory notification on my phone from 2 years ago. As I looked at the photos
which happened to be from my friend’s wedding, I was prompted to check the
other images from the event as well as other saved photos around that period. I
was carried away for about 2 hours deleting pictures, videos from my phone over
a 2-year period. In total, I deleted more than 2,100 images and I still had
more to delete except that time was not on my side.

This got me thinking. I have been having
a challenge with space on my google drive as it has been showing me that it’s
full. And yet, I have filled up my space with all kinds of irrelevant images
including screen shots, pictures of shoes, pictures of crowds I don’t even know
at weddings, graduations, parties, etc.

This moment reminded me of my life as well.
I fill up my days with activities which do not add any value to my life or those
of others and end up coming to the end of the day tired and feeling like I have
not accomplished anything. 

I complain that there is no time to do
such things as spending time my wife, calling my mother, siblings, friends or
engaging in a business venture, etc and yet have all the time and energy to
browse social media, watch an entire season of a series in one weekend as well
as check and micro-manage my team. In much the same way that there didn’t seem
to be enough memory on my google drive to add more images to it.

It is similar with life, there doesn’t seem
to be enough time to do the things we truly love and would like to undertake or
experience. But this is more so because much of our limited time is taken up by
less trivial matters of life such as working at jobs we don’t like, being stuck
in traffic, aimless browsing on social media or watching Netflix to get rid of
our boredom.

 

This is my one and only life I have, the
only space I got and its time to eliminate the meaningless activities and focus
on what truly matters. Let me watch out on the activities (photos) which are
occupying my time (space) so that I don’t come to the end of my life with a
clutter of meaningless moments or experiences.

I end by quoting Lucius Seneca, a Roman
philosopher who wrote the following words more than 2000 years ago which stand
true to this day:

“It is not that we have a short time to
live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently
generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were
all well invested.”

“So it is: we are not given a short life
(space) but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it.”

 

I was watching the Tokyo 2020 Olympic
highlights which were showing the swimming finals. As I continued watching, I could
not help but admire the determination and energy expended during the less than
1 minute of each race.

In most cases, the races were under 25
seconds and that time was the most critical part of whatever it is they have
been training for most of their lives. As I watched the swimmers move through
the water with so much intensity and their entire mind and body moving in sync
towards their goal of winning the race, I thought to myself what it really
takes to be an Olympic athlete let alone a medalist.

It certainly requires a lot of sacrifice
and hard work to reach the pro athlete level. You need to prepare in most cases
even 10 years before for our colleagues in the western world who start from
primary school. Throughout this 10-year period, it takes a lot of daily training,
eating healthy as well as mental preparation. It also requires starting from
somewhere or as an amateur, getting feedback from mentors and coaches as well
as participating in smaller tournaments and qualifying to championships to be
able to make it to the Olympics for that 10 or 20 second period which will
define the rest of their lives.

In a similar fashion this can be said of
you today. What is your 10 or 20 second moment (final) which you can earnestly look
forward to be involved in? What practice or preparations should you undertake
on a daily basis to be able to become an Olympic athlete and perform at the
highest level? What will be your crowning moment?

Whatever that moment is, it certainly
requires daily practice with regular feedback on the preparations engaged in.
it doesn’t happen overnight but may take years working behind the scenes to get
to a position where you can 1^st compete in national, regional, continental
and finally at the Olympics.

In much the same way that when someone decides
to be a runner, his entire life and focus changes. He starts running everyday
as his main activity. He may have to get the right gear (shoes, clothes, etc),
eat the right food and go to the gym, read about how to be more effective at
his practice and get a coach or trainer but his main activity will be to run.

Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a
cartoonist who doesn’t draw, singer who doesn’t sing, a painter who doesn’t paint,
a programmer who doesn’t code, etc? As long as you do not practice or train on
a regular consistent basis like the pro athlete you will never realize your “Olympic
Dream”.

Remember the race may only take 20
seconds for the athlete’s life to change forever but the preparation to be in
that position might have taken 10 or more years. The investment (10 years) is
the key to the successful outcome (20 seconds).

Just like the athletes at the Olympics
who by working on their gifts or talents, they were able to go further than
they imagined, so in a similar way by working on your gifts, the gift will
elevate you to much more than the Olympic moment -Proverbs 18:16

Today, 7th August, I share my 1st ever blog post. This is through a platform 3D success which was created on 1st August 2021.

Just like the Apostle Paul, I am eager to share Gods gift to me with the rest of the world. And I know that Jehovah God out of his good pleasure will energize me giving me both the desire and power to act on my writing-Phillipians 2:13.

SHARE WHAT I LOVE/LIKE/KNOW

This is simply a platform on which I will share what I have learnt about my life through the various encounters and interactions on my lifes journey.

It is not yet clear how I want this to go but I simply just want to share the ideas and lessons which have helped me do a little better on a daily basis.

The journey of life has taught me a number of things. However, one thing which most people want out of life is to succeed and be happy. And there are different ways to succeed but one thing I know is just because you are or feel successful doesn’t necessarily mean that you are happy. 

This is because one can succeed in his craft/vocation (school, work, sport, business, etc) but fail miserably in his relationship (s) or not find any meaning to the success they experience.

3D success is about approaching life from a holistic angle with the understanding that each sphere of life (social, career/vocation/profession, spiritual) is critical to making your life whole or complete.

Everything effects everything else!

The journey begins today……